Koy Roberts, Ph.D.

I will be speaking and participating in a panel discussion on Bullying Intervention and Prevention organized by the Coppell Gifted Association.  The discussion will be held Thursday evening, January 22nd at Coppell High School starting at 7:00 PM.

Teenagers might not outgrow behavioral problems according to recent research published int the British Medical Journal.  Researchers followed 3,500 teens for 40 years to assess the degree to which adolescent behavioral problems persist into adulthood.  Even those with relatively mild issues had poor outcomes in adulthood.  Teenage behavioral problems are critical indicators of a person who has difficulties developing and maintaining positive relationships which can impact their long-term mental health, employment stability, and family life.  It just might not be a phase.  Many people assume a teen will outgrow it but without intervention these adolescent behaviors could develop into serious long-term problems. 

Sports Illustrated’s ‘2008 Sportsman of the Year’ award is of no surprise to anyone this year.  Michael Phelps and his mind-boggling 8 Gold Medals captivated the country in August.  However, the manner in which his accomplishments have inspired thousands of children and teens who have ADHD is even more encouraging.  NY Times writer Tara Parker-Pope calls Phelps the new face of ADHD.  Ed Hallowell, a renowned ADHD expert for 25 years, has trumpted a call to ensure children know that ADHD does not have to be a curse.  In fact, Hallowell assures us ADHD can also be an asset if managed and channeled successfully.  The inspiring story of Phelps is one of my favorite ways to encourage kids and help them understand that while ADHD may have its limitation one can also use it to their advantage to achieve great things.  Unlimited energy and a laser focus on important goals can be a secret weapon that mere ordinary folks like me can only envy.  No longer must we allow children to suffer with low self esteem or depression due to this condition.  Tell them it can be the secret to their success!

Here are 2 little doses of ‘Ebenezer Scrooge’ for you just in time for the Holidays. Researchers recently released the results of the first comprehensive evaluation of how media effects children and adolescent physical health.  After examining 173 scientific studies researchers concluded that in over 80% of the studies there was a strong link between media exposure and long-term negative health effects on children.  Specifically, these studies linked higher amounts of media exposure with obesity, smoking, and sexual activity.  As if we needed any more evidence that limiting and setting boundaries on our children’s media consumption was of critical importance.

If that’s not enough bad news for you consider this –  The Josephson Institute just released its 2008 Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth.  The results of a survey of 30,000 high school students across the country revealed that they lie, cheat, and steal at alarming rates.  Understandably, this non-profit group was disturbed when they consider these young people to be the next generation of teachers, police, politicians, and corporate executives.  83% of students in public and private schools admitted lying to their parents about something of real significance. 64% reported cheating on a test which is up from 60% in 2006.  In fact, these numbers might actually underestimate the seriousness of the problem as 26% of the students admitted lying about 1 or 2 of the survey questions.  More disturbing are the statistics of young people who were content with their ethics and character.  93% were satisfied and 73% indicated that “when it came to doing what is right they were better than most people they knew.”  Umm…Okay. That makes me feel a lot better.  Pass the Eggnog.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday.  No gifts, no guilt, no hysterical commercialism. Just lots of good food, special time with family and friends, and time out to count my blessings.  I am especially thankful for my loving family and the wonderful kids, teens, parents, and families I am privileged to know in my counseling practice.  It’s a blessing to share life with you.  

The current issue of Biological Psychology presents a fascinating study from researchers at the University of Chicago who used brain scanning technology to learn whether the brain of an aggressive youth responds differently to violence than does the brain of someone who is not a bully.  In a disturbing finding, they discovered aggressive youths appear to enjoy inflicting pain on others.  Scientists compared eight 16-18 year olds who were unusually aggressive to a control group of teenage boys with no unusual signs of aggression.  When the bullies watched people intentionally inflicting pain on another, their scans showed a response in the part of the brain associated with reward and pleasure.  The non-aggressive youths did not show the same response.  This is an important finding as parents, psychologists, school administrators, and mental health professionals continue to wrestle with this epidemic.  The battle over bullying in our schools and among children in our community deserves at least as much attention as the fight to stop drug and alcohol use.  Unfortunately, most of the efforts I have witnessed are barely making a dent.  Just as the secrecy of drugs and alcohol make it difficult to detect among our youth; bullying in our schools occurs almost exclusively behind the backs of parents, teachers and administrators.  Kids have become unusually sophisticated in their means, methods, and strategies.  Victims know that often the bullying will intensify if they alert school personnel.  On January 22 I will speak and then participate in a forum with other professionals on ‘Bullying’ for the Coppell Gifted Association.  I will provide additional details as the date approaches.

Eight men, women, and children boldly discuss and share their stories and struggles with the New York Times.  If you’ve never understood this scary and secret epidemic listen to these stories. 

Parity is here….Finally!  Lost among all the terrible financial news was a piece fantastic legislation that will help over 113 million people. President Bush signed a mental health parity law that was included in the economic bailout bill which passed on Friday.  This bill was the result of 12 years of passionate advocacy to get equal insurance benefits for mental health conditions.  Previously most employers and group health plans provided less coverage for mental health care than treatment for physical conditions.  Now more than one third of all Americans will receive significantly better mental health insurance for the first time.  The enormous and far-reaching benefits of mental health counseling and treatment could no longer be denied and now millions of Americans will benefit. 

My daughter started Kindergarten last month.  I must admit the idea of 35 hours away from Mom and Dad at the local public school was daunting…for her parents.  Although I think it a bit ridiculous that 5 year olds go to school from 8am to 3pm each day – this is a perfect time of year to remind parents to let go and refrain from rescuing our little ones as well as our bigger ones.  We must remember our tasks as parents is to prepare our children for increasing independence and successful adulthood.  When we fail to let our kids fail we seriously undermine their ability to become good problem solvers and stress managers.  If our kids never are allowed to feel stress, told the word “no”, or suffer through negative or uncomfortable experiences they turn into emotionally crippled adults without coping skills or any ability to handle stress.  They come to believe that they never have to feel sad, disappointed, or stressed.  Mom and Dad are there to rescue and make sure they stay happy.  We live in a culture where parents erroneously believe that if they keep their child happy they will get a blue ribbon for Parent of the Year.  Any failure by their child is a failure for them.  CNN posted a good article that serves to remind us of our roles as we head into the school year.  I especially liked the quote by Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg.  “What we need to understand is that our job as parents is not to finish our kids or produce perfect kids. It’s to start our kids.” 
Just for the record I’ve only visited my daughter once at her new school during these first few weeks.  But who’s counting?

How much time each day does the average 6-12 year old spend on household chores?
a) 60 min
b) 45 min
c) 30 min
d) less than 30 min


If you chose more than half an hour, you’re wrong according to Sandra Hofferth, Director of the Maryland Population Research Center at the University of Maryland who studied 1,343 children for this project.  Children are spending a paltry 24 minutes a day doing chores which represents a 12% decline since 1997 and a 25% drop from 1981.  Dr. Hofferth suggests this reflects “important behavioral and values shifts that will affect lives for years to come.”  Frankly, I am surprised the number is not lower in this the age of entitled children.  Parents might argue that children are too burdened with academic, extra-curricular, athletics, and homework demands to be helpful around the house.  That I agree with.  However, the benefits of pitching in around the house go way beyond teaching the need for cleanliness or tidiness.  Children learn that neither the parents nor the hired housekeeper are here to serve them.  A family is a team and each member of the team must do his or her part for the family to run smoothly and effectively.  Additonally, participating in chores instills humility, self-discipline, empathy, stewardship, work ethic and responsibility far better than a book report, athletic event or school project ever could.  The benefits also pay off when these children reach adulthood.  Research suggests that 90% of women hoped to share housework and childcare with their spouses according to Kathleen Gerson, NYU sociology professor.  And after controlling for other factors, U.S. marriages tend to be more stable when men participate in domestic tasks.  Housework also instills a habit of serving others.  A professor at the University of Massachusetts, Alice Rossi, found doing household chores as a child was a major, independent predictor of whether a person chose to do volunteer or community work as an adult. 

What better way to teach a child that it’s not about you?