Koy Roberts, Ph.D.

This is your teen’s brain on drugs. 
Any questions?

Recent research on 4,000 high school students in Ohio indicate that those who text and use Facebook the most are at higher risk for other troublesome behaviors such as drinking, smoking, risky sex, depression, eating disorders and absenteeism.  The researchers surmise that these are the teens who are working especially hard to fit in. Working this hard to fit in means they are also more likely to engage in other risky behaviors deemed necessary to find acceptance or popularity.  This is proof positive that parents must be diligent about managing their child’s electronic habits.  Those students who text and use Facebook the most are also the students who rate their parents as more permissive.  Hello!  Enforcing strict rules and limits when it comes to your child’s electronic usage is just as important as the boundaries you set about their physical comings and goings.

Because of a consistent string of bullying-related suicides it seems this horrendous problem amongst kids and teens is finally getting the media attention it deserves. Unfortunately, the problem has to rise to multiple suicides for it to get serious attention.  Believe it or not there are many who still believe this to be a normal rite of passage children must pass through or work through on their own rather than a major mental health and societal crisis.  In my opinion the epidemic of bullying is every bit as dangerous and destructive as the war on drugs we’ve been fighting on behalf of today’s youth.  Anderson Cooper and CNN have done a fantastic job of highlighting and addressing this with stories, articles, videos, and resources about all sources of bullying and what we as adults, parents, and educators can do to help.  The special is called Stop Bullying Speak Up.  I encourage you to forward this link to your friends, neighbors, relatives, teachers and school personnel.  The only way we can address this is to educate and motivate everyone who works with and around our youth to aggressively instill zero tolerance for any and all forms of bullying.

I pray many more schools will participate in Rachel’s Challenge.  A number of schools in the North Texas area are involved.  WFAA Channel 8 is also partnering in this cause.  What a antidote for the bullying and mistreatment that runs rampant in our schools these days.  This issue is especially on my mind as we get rolling with another school year.  A recent survey suggests that electronic bullying can prove considerably more harmful than face to face bullying.  Electronic forms of bullying provide the bully a degree of anonymity and freedom from boundaries that might not be crossed in a face to face encounter.  Additionally, the victim of electronic bullying recognizes that this information can spread like a virus over the Internet or via mobile phone so they feel even greater embarrassment, shame, isolation and humiliation.

www.rachelschallenge.org/index.php 

pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/21/cyber-bully-victims-isolated-dehumanized/?hpt=T2

I absolutely love it when professional athletes, entertainers or notably successful people disclose they have ADD/ADHD or some other struggle.  It normalizes it for the kids and teens who deal with similar issues.  They are able to see that in spite of a struggle they have risen above it and used it to help propel them to success.  And if you’ve ever visited my office you can tell I am a big Rangers fan.  Check out this piece by Dallas Morning News Sports Writer Evan Grant on Texas Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler.

Now I know why I always longed  for a sister growing up rather than being stuck in the middle of two brothers.  Recent research out of Brigham Young University suggests that having a sister provides a child with a form of psychological immunity.   Having a sister tends to protect one from a host of emotional problems.  Sibling relationships matter.  In fact, they go a long way in forming the kinds of pro social behaviors we want to see develop in our kids such as kindness and generosity.  Conflictual sibling relationships can be troubling.  While most of us chalk up all sibling conflict as normal or developmental these researchers suggest that siblings who are hostile toward one another tend to portray hostility and aggressiveness in other relationships.

Whether it’s your five year old starting Kindergarten or your 18 year old shipping off to college homesickness is a normal, adaptive process.  Being homesick is really just a deep need for love, protection and security.  The cure is allowing your child the psychological space to go through these experiences.  Rescuing them or hovering is more about alleviating our own parental anxieties.  We should love our children enough to let them experience this so they mature and grow up which produces healthy, psychological independence.  CNN has a great article about homesickness.

In an August report by the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine teenagers run a 2.5 times greater risk of becoming depressed if they engage in addictive Internet use.  Uncontrolled and unreasonable Internet use is similar to other problematic and scary addictions like pornography or gambling.  Previous research into pathological Internet behavior has discovered a link to relationship and health problems, aggressive behavior and other psychological issues.  This is due to the isolating and alienating nature of Internet addiction.  It also tends to contract a teen’s circle of friends.  The bottom line is that parents must be on their toes monitoring and limiting their child’s online activities.  The key as always is ensuring your child is well-rounded, has plenty of social and interpersonal activities, gets adequate physical exercise, maintains their academics and remains plugged into his or her family.  When these behaviors deteriorate as a result of Internet usage it’s time to take drastic action.

Sometimes it’s not a parent’s fault.  I most definitely agree that parents cannot take all the credit nor all the blame for everything their children become.

Thought-provoking NY Times article about the effects and potential risks of parenting while constantly connected to technology. Most of the recent research and scholarly articles have focused on risks associated with children and teens use or abuse of electronics and gadgets.  However, one researcher indicates feelings of hurt, jealousy, and competition are pervasive when parents stay continuously plugged in.